So my buddy in the Army, Derrick, came home today. And first thing first, just as he requested, we went to go eat some Chinese food. Our first stop was, fittingly enough, China First. However, as the place was completely packed, we decided to go elsewhere. So since it looked like Chinese was out, we decided to hit up the old euphoria (aka, the Popeyes on Thomasville, originally named due to the euphoric nature of having a Popeyes and a KFC right next to one another). However, once we made it to the old euphoria, we discovered that a new Chinese restaurant had opened up next door: The Panda Buffet.
We decided to give this place a try, but we never expected the fight we were in for just to get a good meal. As we entered, our waiter showed us to our table. Or, so we thought. He actually pulled us both aside and explained to us their dire situation. See, the Popeyes next door had challenged them to a Kung Fu Competition, and the waiter was especially worried, given Popeyes' history. Apparently Popeyes had shut down KFC after defeating them in a similar Kung Fu Competition not too long ago, and now they were looking to do the same to the Panda Buffet.
So the waiter asked us if we'd help out, and promised us a meal on the house if we did. Now, you might be wondering just why exactly they asked for our help specifically. And frankly, I'm curious to know the answer to that question myself. Too bad I didn't think to ask it at the time. But what I did ask was when the competition was supposed to take place, and the waiter informed us that it was at high noon. I took a look at my cellular pocket watch, and saw that noon was just minutes away. So I looked to Derrick. And he looked back. And with a confident nod, we agreed to help out in this challenge.
Once noon struck, the Popeyes representatives entered the building, and the waiters and waitresses moved all of the tables aside. Popeyes then introduced their champion, none other than the sailor man himself, Popeye! As he downed a can of spinach, I was ready to step up to the challenge, but Derrick held me back. He said to let him handle this. After all, he had just recently undergone some special training in the Army that made him the perfect candidate for this fight.
So the Panda Buffet rang their gong, and the Kung Fu Competition was under way. And really, I call this a Kung Fu Competition, yet there was little to no actual Kung Fu involved at all. Derrick used more of a street brawler style, while Popeye was moving around like a cartoon character. But despite all of Popeye's spinach enhanced efforts, he was no match for Derrick, who finished him off handily with his patented punt to the head.
So the Panda Buffet was victorious, and true to their word, they rewarded us with a free meal. However, as Popeyes picked up their champion and headed back to their own restaurant, Derrick stopped them at the door. He looked the hazy Popeye in his squinted eyes, and he offered the sailor man a handshake. Popeye accepted, and promised that this wouldn't be the last we saw of them.
And so we left, with the two restaurants striving to keep things running prosperously in order to maintain a friendly rivalry. Fried chicken and Chinese food, what a way to come back home to America!