The Dark Knight Rises

I loved the first two films in The Dark Knight trilogy. And that's why it's so disappointing that this final installment doesn't live up to them at all. This is an overly long, bloated disaster of a movie. Seriously, there is no reason for this movie to be almost three hours in length. I was more than ready to leave by the end of it, and unlike similarly lengthed films, such as The Lord of the Rings movies, the quality wasn't there at all to at least make the long ride an enjoyable one. This movie was absolutely draining, and while I've gone back and rewatched the first two movies a countless number of times, I can't ever see myself revisiting the final installment in this series.

The movie takes place eight years after The Dark Knight, in which Batman has gone into retirement. A new villain enters the scene, Tom Hardy's Bane, as he takes his stab at succeeding where the past villains in this series failed in their attempts at bringing Gotham City to ruin. And as Bane's plan comes to fruition, Batman makes his return to Gotham and finds the power within to rise up against this new "necessary evil" running rampant on his city. It's honestly a fairly simple plot, though this movie goes out of its way to try and make things as unnecessarily convoluted and drawn out as it possibly can.

The story also does a hell of a job tying in aspects from the first two movies. However, one thing that really irked me was what they chose to neglect. The Joker is never once referenced in this movie. The Joker, who is supposed to be Batman's greatest adversary, the man who was responsible for Batman's early retirement, is completely ignored. Instead, Ra's al Ghul is given the "greatest adversary" treatment in this series, which really just bugged me. Harvey Dent is referenced. Ra's al Ghul is referenced. Hell, even The Scarecrow makes another appearance in what is likely the highlight of the entire movie. But The Joker? Not even an after thought.

And speaking of such characters, unlike the prior movies, this one has no characters that I found myself caring at all about. Anne Hathaway and Tom Hardy did decently enough with what they were given, but they failed to deliver the kind of memorable performances the likes that we got from Aaron Eckhart and Heath Ledger, and the characters of Bane and Selina Kyle themselves were far from interesting. And even the returning characters didn't live up to their prior appearances. Gary Oldman killed it in The Dark Knight, but he seems to just merely exist in this movie. And Morgan Freeman and Michael Caine are little more than cameos this time around, despite having their names all over the promotional material. And Christian Bale, well, he's just Christian Bale. If there is a standout performance, I'd honestly have to say it was Joseph Gordon-Levitt, though even then, as I've said, it doesn't even begin to compare to what this series has been able to deliver in the past.

The action scenes, for the most part, are boring and forgettable experiences. Hell, I don't even remember what happened to Bane in the end. But, I mean, at least we could see the action, unlike in Batman Begins, but that was an issue already addressed and corrected in the last film. However, unlike the last film, none of the action is compelling in the least this time around. It's just very uninspired and tiring, and the movie often feels like it's just going through the motions. (And vaguely related, I love how, despite being up against a literal ticking time bomb, Batman still finds the time to rig up a flaming bat symbol on a building.)

One of the things I was hoping from this movie is that it would do something different, similar to how The Dark Knight felt very much like a different movie from Batman Begins. And yeah, this movie definitely does something different, but that something isn't necessarily any good. The movie seems to suffer from identity crisis, and at many times doesn't even feel like a Batman film at all. It's like Christopher Nolan had all of these ideas for so many different movies in so many genres, and he just sort of mashed them all together and tried to make it work. Except, it doesn't work. All it does is leave a great big mess in its wake.

If someone would have told me at the beginning of the year that, of the big three comic book movies this year (The Avengers, The Amazing Spider-Man, The Dark Knight Rises), not only would The Amazing Spider-Man be the best, but that The Dark Knight Rises would be, by far, the very, very worst, I would have never believed it. But, alas, that's exactly what has happened. This movie was a monumental disappointment, and a very piss poor conclusion to an otherwise outstanding series. And the ending of the movie may quite possibly be the biggest bullshit cop-out nonsense that I've ever seen. I can't see myself sitting through this again, and while I won't say I don't recommend seeing it, I do recommend lowering your expectations tremendously.

The Amazing Spider-Man

So on our great nation's birthday, I figured, what would be a more American way to celebrate than by checking out the latest Spider-Man flick? Now, going in I did have some reservations with this movie. There were a lot of things highlighted in the previews that had me concerned with the direction they were taking the franchise in this reboot. However, as it would turn out, every single thing that I thought would bug me didn't end up bothering me one bit. I really enjoyed the hell out of this movie.

The Amazing Spider-Man is essentially a better version of the first movie. Just swap places with a few characters (Green Goblin for The Lizard, Mary Jane for Gwen Stacy, J. Jonah Jameson for Captain Stacy, etc.), and it's basically the same movie. But seeing as I was already a huge fan of the first movie, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Yeah, it means that this film is pretty much just retreading old ground, but that was one of the things I was already expecting going in, and it was all handled so well that, as I said, it didn't bother me at all.

The big difference is in the way the characters are handled. Peter Parker, for instance, actually retains his snarky sense of humor from the comics in this version. Andrew Garfield did an awesome job as Parker, quite possibly even better than Toby Maguire. And Emma Stone gave an equally impressive performance as the slightly geeky love interest, Gwen Stacy. She was such a more likeable character than Mary Jane was ever portrayed as in the original movies. And really, that could be said for just about everyone, save for maybe Sally Field's Aunt May, who didn't quite live up to her predecessor from the original movies.

I also really liked all of the different relationships at play. Obviously the love story between Peter and Gwen is the main driving force behind the movie, which was just a joy to watch unfold. And I also really enjoyed watching the evolution of the smaller relationships, such as that between Peter and his high school bully, Flash Thompson. But other than the main love story, I actually found the most intriguing interactions to come between Peter and Denis Leary's character, Captain Stacy. Seeing their clash of ideals play out on screen was very interesting, and ultimately lead to some of the most satisfying scenes in the whole movie.

My biggest concerns going in were related to the origins of the story, and how Spider-Man got his powers. But seeing it all play out, I actually quite liked the way it was handled, and I found it suiting that they decided to go with The Lizard as the villain for this outing. His story plays out very similarly to how the Green Goblin's did in the first movie, complete with inner struggle and everything. But I found him to be a really nice foil to Spider-Man, and he felt like a genuine threat.

The action scenes in this movie were great. I loved the super fast and in your face (literally at times) use of webbing here, which lead to some especially awesome visuals during Spidey's intense encounters with The Lizard. There was one standout scene in particular where the two battle it out in the background while an unsuspecting Stan Lee proceeds to give us his best cameo in a Marvel movie yet. And, as I mentioned before, we got the snarky Spider-Man in this installment, meaning we got to hear him spout out awesome lines of dialogue all throughout his fights, something that was sorely missing from the originals. Also, Spider-Man throws a freaking shoe at The Lizard. How awesome is that?!

So yeah, I really enjoyed this movie. It's definitely a fitting inclusion to the franchise, and quite possibly the best Spider-Man movie to date. It's not as dark and gritty as the trailers sold it as, but it's also not as campy as the originals. Instead, it finds a believable medium that really works in this film's favor. I had my doubts with the direction of the film going in, but after the fact, I really couldn't have asked for a better reboot, and I definitely look forward to future installments of this series. Basically, my feelings on the movie can be summed up in the title itself, this was simply Amazing.

Brave: A Review in GIFS!

So after seeing the latest Pixar movie, Brave, I determined that, quite frankly, there's just not much worth saying about it. So rather than writing up a full review, I'll instead show you some of my reactions I had towards the movie in the form of gifs.

First, I was like this:


Then, I was like this:


And several times, I was like this:


At some point, I was like this:


And in the end, I was like this:


The end.

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter

Wow, well this movie was... yeah, it was something! It was completely ridiculous, and quite frankly, a terrible movie from start to finish. And yet, it was also a total blast to sit through. So basically, it was pretty much everything I could have ever asked of it, a completely horribly awesome experience.

So this movie is exactly what the title suggests, Abraham Lincoln is secretly a vampire hunter. He witnesses a vampire killing his mother as a child, and, growing up with vengeance in heart (which, by the way, did you know that if you make a promise to someone, you're no longer bound to that promise after they've died?), Honest Abe seeks out his mother's killer and finds himself dragged into an entirely new line of work in the process: Rising politician by day, but vampire hunter by night.

As the story progresses and we get more into Abe's political stuff, the story tends to get a bit clunky. And even in a bad movie such as this, where you already expect the worst, the clunky storytelling really sticks out. But it's worth it in the end, because once the action starts, this movie just loses its freaking mind!

The actions scenes are entirely ridiculous! If Abe spent less time twirling his axe around and showing off, he'd probably be much better at this whole vampire hunting thing than he already is. Then again, not that it'd make that big a difference, as he (and eventually, all of his friends) are apparently the most physically able men when it comes to laying waste to vampires. (Did you know that you can cut down a tree with a single blow just so long as you possess... the truth?)

But it's not just Abe's axe twirling antics that are ridiculous. We're talking chase scenes running over the backs of stampeding horses (he threw a horse), extended fight scenes on top of toppling trains (he threw a horse), and, my favorite, an action scene that takes place entirely in pitch black (he threw a freaking horse)! Quite frankly, the action scenes left me about as mesmerized as Abe himself was near the end at the sight of a mere fork! But yeah, this movie definitely excels in the action department. In fact, I'm pretty sure that so much of their budget going into all the pretty explosions could explain why they apparently couldn't even afford the makeup to age any of the characters other than Abe. That, or maybe all of his friends and family are just vampires, who knows?

As for the vampires themselves, these could quite possibly be the least imaginative interpretation of them yet. They can conveniently wander around in the sun (just because), and they have those crappy overly exaggerated monster mouths that's such a popular trend these days for some odd reason. It looks terrible, but that kind of goes with the territory. And their powers are completely inconsistent throughout the movie. One second, they're so fast that your eyes can't keep up with them, the next, they can't even outrun someone packing their rifle from just a few yards away. And while they're strong enough to be able to hold a damn train from falling to its doom, they're apparently physically incapable of breaking through a door.

So yeah, this movie happened. I was laughing throughout, as were the other five people in the theater. But in the end, we all know how Abraham Lincoln's clearly historically accurate tale ends. In fact, after everything that happened to him up to this point and all of the crazy shit Abe survived, the fact that he ultimately goes down the way that he does may be the most ridiculous thing in the whole movie! Certainly a less than desirous ending for good ol' Honest Abe. But yeah, like I said, terrible movie, but worth every penny.

Prometheus

Pretty much. With the exception of Michael Fassbender's awesome performance, this whole movie is really just one big underwhelming mess. I mean, I went in with no expectations at all, and yet I still somehow came out disappointed. This movie feels like it just wants so desperately to be this grand sci-fi epic, with mild elements of a horror flick interwoven within, but the movie just fails on all accounts.

Let's start with the plot, which is just a clunky disaster. So in this prequel to the Alien franchise, we're following these characters as they travel to a distant planet in order to discover the makers of humanity itself. And honestly, it really does start off on a strong note. The story is initially very engaging, and the premise is certainly an intriguing one. However, pretty much the moment they actually land on the planet and begin their mission, the movie gradually begins to crumble apart.

Characters were soon acting entirely differently from how they were originally introduced to us, and for no apparent rhyme or reason. The characters were just very inconsistent across the board, and in some cases entirely pointless. Charlize Theron, for instance, serves absolutely no purpose in this movie. Her character contributes nothing to the plot, and yet, despite her lack of relevance, they felt the need to shoehorn in several little "human" moments for her, even going so far as to force in a last minute "twist" concerning her character's relationship towards another. But this "twist", like everything else revolving around her character, has no impact on the story at all, and is never once even mentioned again, rendering it entirely pointless.

However, while the movie placed so much focus on such an unimportant character, it sort of just glosses over a very important plot point later on in the movie. This is a bit of a spoiler, but the main character, played by Noomi Rapace, is unable to have children. This fact plays a major role in the film, and yet it's just sort of randomly dropped on us well later than it should have been. This is something that should have been hinted at and eased into the film from the very beginning, but nope. We're given no clues whatsoever to this important information until it's just nonchalantly brought up, leaving me sitting there thinking, 'Oh... well okay then!'

The visuals in the movie are mostly well done. Whether they were wandering through the planet's caves or just going about things aboard the ship, the scenery always had a very appealing look to it. The CGI creature effects, however, left much to be desired. There's a short blip of a scene where we see something crawling in one of the main character's eyes. And that was the only time any of the creature effects in this movie left any kind of an impression on me. The rest of the time I was, as I've said before, completely underwhelmed. They just had a very fake look and feel to them, like you knew they weren't really there, and it just happened to really stand out for me this time.

As I walked out of the movie, I actually said that it wasn't bad. However, upon further reflection, I really think that had Michael Fassbender not been as incredible in this movie as he was, I would have absolutely hated it. Really, Fassbender is the one shining light in this dark, gloomy movie. He plays an android named David who overlooks the ship's crew as they sleep during the long travel to the distant planet, and joins alongside them on their mission with a constant, infectious feeling of wonder. Fassbender just kills in this role, and his character grows so much over the coarse of the movie, adding on new layers of depth with each new discovery, something that is sorely missing from every single other character. (And physically speaking, he also looks so good here that I'm almost tempted to go back and move him up a couple spots in my, uh, list.)



But yeah, It's very possible that I'm being too harsh on this film. The consensus seems to be split right down the middle as far as who likes it and who doesn't, and from what I've gathered, fans of the Alien franchise appear to be among those who enjoyed the movie more than everyone else. So if you're an Alien fan, then you may well like what this movie has to offer. But for everyone else, I really can't recommend this one at all. The plot is a mess, the characters are all over the place, and the effects are generally unimpressive. Sure, Michael Fassbender's great, but then, what else is new?

An Entire Compilation of Children's Songs

First, I would just like to thank everybody who has taken the time to watch my new movie, and a big thanks to all of you who have helped spread the word. Thank you to everyone whose given me feedback of any kind, every bit of it truly is helpful. And to my friends and family who helped actually make the movie itself, I can't even express in words how grateful I am to all of you.

So then, as it would turn out, this marks my 100th post on this blog! And what better way to celebrate this milestone than with a look at some outtakes from The Red Scarf. So I put together a little blooper reel, complete with a soundtrack provided by my very own cast and crew, which I would now like to share with all of you who've seen the movie. (And for those who haven't yet, you should totally check out the movie first, 'cause there's some spoilers in here.)



Enjoy!

The Red Scarf

So here it is, my first movie. Hope you enjoy it!