Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Word Vomit: Spitting Out My Latest Movie Reviews

Simple enough, I'm not going to go into too much detail, just gonna spew out a few thoughts on some of the latest films I've seen, in order from best to worst:

Kung Fu Panda 2

This movie lived up to my expectations. It's pretty much on par with the first. It's a very beautiful film, much more so than I remember the first being, and I especially loved the switch between 2D and 3D styles at certain times.

I think this movie benefits tremendously by not being saddled down with an origins story like the first, so they're able to jump right into the action. And the Furious Five actually play an active role here, rather than merely existing like they did before. Our villain, played wonderfully by Gary Oldman, is also a real treat, and similar to the Furious Five, we're really able to spend some time with him and learn more about him, whereas last time we were just told about our villain until we finally meet him in the end.

The film definitely brings the humor, and one particular line by Mantis may be the funniest thing I've heard in a movie in years. But, as I discussed with my friend I went to see it with, they sometimes placed their humor in inappropriate spots. It only bugged me a little, but my friend took a much bigger issue with it, so I suppose it just comes down to taste.

Overall, I enjoyed the hell out of this movie. It's funny, and at times it's heartbreakingly powerful. Dreamworks definitely has a successful franchise on their hands, and I more than look forward to the next installment.


Eh, it was good. It has a few problems, such as the forced romance plot (which is given far more importance than it deserves, considering how rushed it is), and some of the earlier action scenes suffered from shaky cam, which just immediately pisses me off anytime I see it at this point. Seriously, I can't see shit! What's the point of an action scene where I can't see shit?!?!

But those minor complaints really don't drag this movie down in the end. It's a lot of campy fun, and oftentimes hilarious at points. The scenes with Thor readjusting himself in his new role on Earth are definitely the best parts of the movie.

It actually reminded me of the first Iron Man, both in quality, and in its general tone. But after seeing this, I'm now expecting pretty much that same general quality going into the Captain America and Avengers movies. So while I won't expect them to blow me away anymore, I'll expect to at least be entertained by them.


It's really just a dumb action flick, and it blatantly steals from several other franchises, everything from Indiana Jones to Pirates of the Caribbean. But despite its unoriginality, it's so damn fun that you can't help but love it. My friends and I went in fully expecting it to suck, but we were pleasantly surprised to find that it, in fact, wasn't completely horrible!

And after looking it up afterwards, it literally has nothing at all to do with the source material it's based off of. There are no vampires in the original story, whereas this movie is based entirely around them. So we joked that the guy in the trailer who constantly insists that "there is no vampire menace" just happened to have a copy of the graphic novel on hand.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides

So I saw the new Pirates movie, and, well, it was okay...ish, I guess. Though I did go in totally expecting it to be horrible, so that may have something to do with why I think that.

It certainly has issues, oh does it have issues. The action scenes overstay their welcome more often than not, there are several very convenient moments, most notably when one of the guards just randomly places down Jack's gun and sword before resuming to give chase.

Also, none of the new character are really all that interesting, and of the returning characters, only Barbosa really continues to impress. Jack just really doesn't feel like Jack anymore, though I will say he's more tolerable here than he was in At World's End. It's sad that Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley's characters, who I was originally thrilled to see weren't returning, were actually very much missed, and the new characters introduced completely failed to fill the void they left behind.

I will say this though, bad as the previous two were, at least they had several unforgettable images that will remain in your head long after you left the theater. It may be too early to say, but I just can't see that really being the case here. Not a whole lot interesting really happened.

Overall, it's not really a good movie, but I didn't walk out of the theater pissed off like I did the last one, so it does have that going for it. I guess by this point I'm just not invested at all in the series, so it's utter mediocrity just doesn't even affect me anymore, 'cause at this point, I honestly don't care.


I just don't really get the hype for this one. Maybe, after hearing so many good things about it, I just went in with expecting too much, but this didn't live up to any of it.

It's honestly not all that funny. All of the scenes with the chubby girl are hilarious, but other than that, it's just blah. And other than the heavy girl and the cop character, there's not a single likable person in the entire cast.

After a certain point, I just didn't care about our main characters anymore. And hell, even the movie quit caring, as some characters just randomly disappear halfway into the movie, with no resolution for them at all. Makes you wonder why they were even included in the first place.

I don't really have much else to say about it, but this was probably the biggest disappointment of the year thus far. At least, it was, until...

The Hangover: Part II

Not since The Last Airbender have I seen a movie as ABYSMAL as The Hangover: Part II. My god this movie was bad. This was leaving the theater pissed off levels of bad. Hell, there were several times I considered walking out during the movie, but I stuck around in the false hope that it might possibly turn things around.

Hell, and I thought Bridesmaids wasn't funny, that movie's a god damn riot compared to this shit! There's not a single laugh to be had here. Not one. The movie is flat out not funny at all. Maybe if it actually tried to do something different, something vaguely original, instead of only referencing the first movie every god damn five seconds. The references just become groan inducing.

I literally don't have a single good thing to say about this mind numbing piece of crap. The first one was great, so I at least expected a shred of quality here. But no, nothing. This movie has no redeeming qualities whatsoever.


  1. Except for Bridesmaid and Hangover II which I haven't watched, I have seen the other ones. KFPII is fantastic and I can't wait for more. Thor? Still haven't attempted to finish it yet. PotC 4: you read my review already. I watched Priest. Twice. I actually enjoyed it :)

  2. Oh yeah, I enjoyed Priest a lot more on a second viewing. While not technically good, it's still really enjoyable, and pretty underrated. I think it's just an example of people taking a movie more seriously than it deserves. Same with Green Lantern. ;)